Like all good things, parenting takes practice. A lot of practice, trials and tribulations. As we all know, there is no clear cut manual. Each child and family is incredibly unique. Every parent wants a deep connection with their child and to successfully prepare them for the world. We all want to create responsible, strong, compassionate adults. These are the ultimate goals, but how do we get there?
Each day brings on so many unprepared situations. The screaming child in the grocery store, the child that hits at school, the first lie, and so many other special moments you will share with your children.To prepare for these interesting parenting moments, they can be broken down into a simple lesson similar to what we do in the classroom. The following is a practical example with an intentional goal.
How to ask for help and/or wait for help:
The demand for help or recognition may be the most difficult aspect of good manners to teach a child. Their need is immediate in their eyes. In order to have friends and be appreciated your child must learn patience.
This can be done in a couple of ways. One is do not come a running for every whim your child may desire. If you are busy it is okay to say, “I will be with you as soon as I finish my soup.” This derails the need for immediate gratification, creates trust (because you will follow through) and brings the gift of patience to your child – a skill for life every person needs.
Yes, the child may cry, scream and lay on the floor the first few times. Calmly, respond, “I see you are upset. I will be with you when I finish my soup.” Savor that soup and then follow through. Acknowledge the child the first time they fully wait. Thank you for waiting, how can I help?” It is your choice – do you want to train them to scream and whine for everything they want or patiently wait through communication? Raise your awareness of what you want to put out in the world through your child.